Others' StoriesDreams
My life right now is as good as I could realistically imagine, all things considered. And by all things I mean:
- I'm writing a book and freelancing instead of taking a "normal" job.
- Said book's original publisher was forced to, though regrettably, back out of the project as the economy ravaged its bottom line.
- Thus, instead going through the entire process of landing a publisher again, which would mean the book would take another two years or so to get released, the wife and I have decided to self-publish it. Which is borderline insane, I feel some days.
But man, things have been phenomenal the past year.
Am I where I want to be? Have I "arrived," in the writer's sense? Oh my word, it's not even close. I've achieved some good things and taken some fantastic steps in my first year as a full-time freelancer and real-life grownup -- that is, my first year out of college -- but life's like climbing a mountain, and I feel like the mountain I've picked is Everest, and I've just finished Day One of The Climb.
Does anybody in their right mind graduate and immediately focus on working toward becoming an author? Especially knowing that the odds of making a living off writing are almost as good as the odds of making it as a pro athlete?
Normal people take jobs and write on the side. Normal people thus don't feel insane for trying what they're trying.
Anyway, all of this is to say that I should be completely happy with where my life is right now. And truthfully, most hours of most days, I am.
But, speaking of pro athletes, there remains that kid in me who misses baseball. You see him, in the blog post below, sitting next to the other kid who just signed a pro baseball contract. And the grownup baseball player in me who's matured out of his stupid fears that doomed his college career really, really wonders what could have been.
Don't misunderstand me -- I'm unbelievably happy for my brother, Kramer. He's literally living a dream. Nowhere in our family's genetic history have we had a professional athlete. Well, now we do. He's shattered that barrier. Now all the younger kids in our family know to believe, because he made it. I'd say I'm proud, but that feels underwhelming. I feel more like the older brother of one of those ancient kings who conquered a country. Which isn't a great metaphor because that involves lots of bloodshed, but you get the point.
Every once in awhile I find myself getting a little bummed out, though, because I wanted that, too. And for some reason, some days, I still want that.
Of course, I know Katie's right when she tells me, "Just remember, you're living a new dream." And yeah, my life is definitely that right now: a dream. It's beautiful. I'm writing and paying my bills with it. That's incredible.
But to live one dream, and sometimes simply to live a life as life's circumstances demand, other dreams must be left solely for our dreamworld. Last night, I dreamed I was playing baseball with Kramer. I was catching him again, and we were winning, and we were Braves. I know he just signed with the Yankees, but when we were kids, we were always the Braves.
I'm not sure what that would feel like in real life, and I'll likely never know again, but for a few fleeting moments in my sleep, I had it again, and it was one of the best fake moments of my life.
I mention all of this to ask this question:
What dreams have you had to sacrifice in the name of life? And how has that decision, or those decisions, affected your life?
Reader Comments (6)
I once dreamed/thought I was going to marry a dentist... So I sacrificed that dream, to marry a writer.
Must say, it wasn't that big of a sacrifice.
Some would say I "sacrificed" being a CPA and making tons of money to be a stay-at-home mom, but l am reluctant to call that a sacrifice - being a stay-at-home mom is one of the greatest gifts God ever gave me. :)
Well the comments on this one have been a little less than I expected, but good ones from those who commented, even if you are (1) my wife and (2) my mom. Winners in my book.
I guess the word "sacrifice" and variations thereof do imply the loss of something, which could mean something we'd "miss." But when we lose something, we're better prepared to carry more. Like dumping rocks out of a backpack so we can carry gold. We just can't pick up something new until we drop something old.
I was thinking about posting last night...but can't bring myself to say that I've sacrificed my dream yet. I'm hoping that's a good thing! I'm still hoping to act/direct and make decent money doing it...the dream of course is to make LOTS of money doing it and be a 'light in the darkness.' I kinda feel like if I never make it big, but am able to be a local light, then I think my dream would still be fulfilled.
Another dream of mine is to be an awesome (faithful, caring, compassionate, loving, etc) wife and mom. Until this year, I never truly believed that I could. Family issues sometimes screw with your mind in that way. This is a dream that I definitely do not want to sacrifice. So I know that no matter what happens my acting/directing dream, God knows what I can handle, and there's a reason to be where we are in our lives.
yeah, I agree with Shelley in not wanting to say I've "sacrificed" my dream just yet!
But I can say that different small things in life have probably been sacrificed due to sporting events.
But I don't think dreams.. so I'm still doing pretty good, I suppose :)
Ps. My Dove Chocolate Promise tonight: "When you dare to dream, dream big!"