Why do I not like to blog?

Actually, I like blogging. I like the instant gratification it provides. You want something published? Type it up, hit "Publish", and blammo, there you go. Published. Your thoughts are out there for all the world to see, that they may be changed forever upon discovering you.

So I like blogging. I'm just bad at it.  

Saturday, I interviewed with Bryan Allain for his new FreshPod, a podcast for creative types. Was honored to be asked on. He's interviewed some great talent in the first four episodes, and has one coming out today, I think, with rising writing star Anne Jackson.

We talked about (among a zillion other things) blogging. I've talked with him before, through email, about it. He made a good point once: you can't be chasing something. By that he meant, if you're forcing yourself to do this for some ulterior motive, like just to get Internet famous or whatever, you're not going to last very long. You have to like it. Love it, even. You have to like what you're writing about.

I've tried to write more about other people around here, because I hate writing about myself.* And lately, I've hated even sharing my own opinion on things. Mostly because I'm like, what do I really have to say that I think people should listen to? Everyone has an opinion, and throwing mine out there isn't really going to do anyone any good. It's action, not words, that matter most.

* The irony that I am writing 700 words about myself in a post that is a lot about hating writing about myself is not lost on me. Apologies for that. 

I love to write about other people, though. Really. People inspire me, man. I love believing in people, and then seeing them accomplish something great. LOVE IT. I used to love arguing and debating and getting all riled up about politics and religion. But all that stuff's just exhausting, and besides, it doesn't do any good. People, though? People are AWESOME. 

Thing is, I told Bryan, I write lots of blogs--they just never get posted. I don't like what I write most of the time. I'm insecure like that. So I don't trust it. I don't have confidence in it. (I really should get over that.) I know in that strange place inside me where I know things that my writing really isn't that bad, that I should trust it more. 

I just....don't.

I like rewriting, and rewriting, and rewriting. For example, I thought I was going to post this twenty minutes ago. Now I'm going back through polishing it, and thirty seconds ago, this paragraph didn't exist. Problem with blogging is that you can rewrite your whole life, and there's no deadline, and, well, like what happens with me, without a deadline, you rewrite until you write the thing to death, and dead things stink.

That's all just a big fat lame excuse, though. Really, like everything else in my life, I blog too little because I fear too much. I was going to explain a lot of what I'm scared of, but I don't think that would do you any good. It's all the usual things people are afraid of.

Mostly, I'm afraid of failing. I am afraid of putting real time into blogging, and into social networking, and into trying to build a real platform with this website, only to remain at 20 to 50 unique hits a day, and around 200 Twitter followers. Failure. 

That's ridiculous, though. For a number of reasons, but mostly because that won't happen. The nature of the Internet is that if you cultivate something the right way, it'll grow, just like a lawn. Grass needs sunlight. Websites need content. Produce content, and fertilize it with good ideas, and you'll grow a good site. 

At least, that's my theory. Going to try to test it. Which means that I'll be posting more here now, hopefully 4-6 posts per week.

Fear is a powerful stopping force, but there is one failproof way of getting past it. 

Doing whatever it is that scares you. 

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Question 1: What do you not like to do that you think you should do more, and why don't you like it? 

Question 2: How do you think you can get better at doing that? 

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BONUS MATERIAL: Some awesome Google image results for search term "blog."