Eric Bledsoe was cast aside by the Suns after a cryptic tweet he says they misunderstood. Was he right? Were there more sinister forces in the universe forcing his hand?
BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS
Title: Eric Bledsoe Hair Salon Situation Potentials
AKA: “WISH YOU WERE HAIR: WHY AN NBA PLAYER WOULD NOT WANT TO BE AT A HAIR SALON IN PHOENIX AND TWEET ABOUT IT.”
To: B/R Mag
From: Desk of B.S.
Case ID #: 2-EB-10222017-TWEET-0444-P
B/R Mag reporting agent (“B.S.”) investigates possibilities regarding a recent situation involving Phoenix Suns guard Eric Bledsoe, wherein Mr. Bledsoe published on Twitter a “tweet” stating: “I Dont wanna be here.”
This led many to believe that Mr. Bledsoe was referring to his lack of desire to continue playing basketball for the Phoenix organization.
Mr. Bledsoe said he was referring to being stuck in a hair salon.
B.S. canvassed approximately two dozen hair salons (hereafter “potential locations”) and half a dozen barbershops in the greater Phoenix/Scottsdale region, including Mr. Bledsoe’s personal barber. He also reached out to Mr. Bledsoe’s representation, Mr. Bledsoe’s wife and Mr. Bledsoe himself.
Responses ranged from suspiciously ignorant of the situation, to impassioned defenses of Mr. Bledsoe, to detailed explanations of just how, exactly, one could theoretically get stuck in a hair salon at a level of desperation requiring one to tweet, to French accents, to insight from Mr. Bledsoe’s barber.
See below for details, but possibilities include hostage situation and/or aliens.